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What will be your legacy?

When we’re young, life seems slow moving – the days are long and the world is rich. As we get older, this starts to change and it feels like we’re running short of time, and consequently we tend to rush to get more things done.

I’m 48 years old now, and it does feel like I’m on the other side of the proverbial mountain. Until my late 30s or early 40s, I was climbing the mountain, like all of us. Trying to find my identity and how I fit into the world.

Then in my early 40s, I had the cliched mid-life crisis. It lasted a long time. For me, it meant questioning much of what I’d learned early in life, and the decisions that I’d made since.

Coming out of that and recognizing that I’m not climbing the mountain of life anymore, and maybe descending it, thoughts invariably turned to my own mortality. Ernst Becker in his famous 1973 book, The Denial of Death, suggested that an individual’s character is formed around the process of denying their own mortality, and that this denial is necessary to function in the world.

That seems a stretch to me, though there’s no doubt that many fear death, especially as they age. I sense that fear in my parents, making it difficult to talk about death and the issues surrounding it, including financial affairs.

The issues with legacy

A recognition that we won’t be around forever can lead to thoughts about the purpose of our lives and what we’ll leave behind. Our legacy, so to speak.

When thinking about legacy, the first thought for me is of rich people leaving buildings and monuments in their names. A few years ago, I remember reading of the CEO of a listed company donating money to my university alma mater in Adelaide, and getting a building named after him, and I thought, ‘you pompous so and so’.

The problem with legacy is deeper, though. The building with the CEO’s name on it won’t last forever and there’ll probably be wealthier donors at some point whose names will replace his on that building.

The deeper reality is that very few of us will be remembered after our deaths. By family and friends, sure. Outside of that, not so much.

After all, there are 8.2 billion people alive today, and around 117 billion who’ve lived and died over the past 4.5 billion years of earth’s existence. We’re but a speck in the scheme of things.

If not legacy, then what?

What should we aim for as we age, then?

New York Times columnist David Brooks in his book, The Second Mountain, suggests during the first half of our lives, we pursue largely self-interested goals: career wins, high status, buying nice things. He believes the second half of our lives should be about family, vocation, philosophy, and community. Put simply, it should involve connecting with close ones and helping others.

Connection and relationships are important, yet they may not be all there is to it.

A different framework for finding purpose in life comes from financial coach, George Kinder, in his book, The Seven Stages of Money Maturity. Kinder says financial advisers should ask their clients three questions to help them find their life goals, and the questions are paraphrased here:

  • If you just won $10 million, how would you change your life?
  • If you found out you have just five years to live, but you’re in good health, what would you do?
  • If you’re told today that you have only 24 hours to live, what regrets would you have about your life?

I like the second question most. The problem with it is that the answer likely changes with age. In my 20s and much of my 30s, my answer would have included: travel the world, meet as many people as possible, and go to some of the world’s great sporting events. Later, the answer would have been different and including things such as building a business to potentially pass onto my children.

Now, the answer would be far more mundane: to spend as much time with my family, raise my children to be good people, build deeper relationships with friends, pursue work and hobbies that mean something to me, and leave enough assets and income for my family to get by after I pass.

The answer to Kinder’s second question will be different for each of us.

There’s another way to think about goals for the second half of life. I heard it once, from where I’m unsure, that we leave parts of ourselves with those we’re close too. For instance, we teach values to our children, who pass it onto their children, who then pass it onto theirs. Or we influence friends in ways that they pass onto others, who spread it further and onto the next generation, and so forth. In other words, parts of us live on through generations.

The three frameworks for thinking about how to live as we age hint at something else. Most of us spend our lives obsessed with the future: what shape our finances will be in, what assets we’ll own, what career and work we’ll have, and what our world will be like.

Yet, perhaps we need to obsess less about the future and more about the present. Worrying less about what our legacy will be, and more about connecting better with people in the here and now.

Yes, some planning is warranted and prudent. Wills, estate planning, and the like. And we write a lot about these topics in our newsletter. But they’re only a small part of how we’ll be remembered once we’re gone.

 

James Gruber is editor of Firstlinks and Morningstar.

 

28 Comments
AlanB
November 05, 2024

Our legacy to the world is our children.
Obituaries and funerals show that kindness is the most valued personal quality to have, pass on and be remembered for.
Research your own parents, grandparents and more distant ancestors. Find out where they lived, what they did, their life and times. Even the most ordinary of past lives can be used to inspire and educate the next generation. Their story and memory becomes their legacy. As ours will be.

Tony Dillon
November 03, 2024

“The deeper reality is that very few of us will be remembered after our deaths. By family and friends, sure. Outside of that, not so much.” 

Reminds me of a quote in a movie, “About Schmidt”, 2002 that starred Jack Nicholson, about a guy who had just retired (by the way, Schmidt was an actuary).

Schmidt (Nicholson) said, “Once I am dead and everyone who knew me dies too, it will be as though I never existed.”

Interesting stuff James.

john
November 03, 2024

Great discourse and comments here, but your just a baby James. I'm 77

Marjorie
November 03, 2024

Thank you James for raising many thoughtful aspects of this broad question/theme. I believe in ‘leaving the world a better place’ not by building stuff but by creating positive ‘small’ moments each day, inspiring others with ideas and my experience and learning from them and very important protecting nature and the natural world. Otherwise where else are we and the species we rely on like bees going to live? So - Having been very fortunate in having an education and fulfilling work and great people around me I see the concept of ‘generativity’ as important ie giving back in ways not related to building stuff. Eric Schumacher’s book ‘Small is beautiful’ for example and I often reflect on lessons from Victor Frankel’s ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’. Thinking of the concept of ‘investing’ and ‘legacy’ the kind acts people have bestowed upon me and inspiring people who have taught me are the material of ongoing bequests.

Lucille McLaren
November 04, 2024

As long as labour continues to run the states there won’t be any nature left. Bringing in more people than we can house and panicking, changing the planning rules and making new ones on the hop by young kids with very little life experience . Australia will not be a very nice place to live as the demise is already evident.

Mark
November 03, 2024

Everyone is born with a Terminal Diagnosis!

It's what we do in between those two events that defines us... $$$ come, $$$ go... it is the impact we have on others that counts

Robert G
November 03, 2024

What goes on behind the dash between DOB and DOD is what counts.

Steve
November 03, 2024

I have a client in Perth worth over $23 million. He has no intention of retiring. Completely focused on rewarding his top team players, including massive generosity to those directors in his team. A very inspiring operator.

DANNY
November 03, 2024

All good, but it's still about money! What's the rest of his life like..?

George Caplan
November 03, 2024

I couldnt disagree more. This articles refects a very USA centric view of the world. During the first half of my life i did focus on investing in my future and I worked hard and made self sacrifices so my kids got good educations and were always given opportunities. My kids are now adults and my legacy to myself is a great relationship with my adult children. The next part of my life is about me. The legacy was already created.

Pauljk
November 03, 2024

I don't see how this is a "very USA centric view of the world"
It's James's view of the world and I totally agree.

Anyway, we'll done, you seem to have it all figured out.

Andrew Buchan HLB WEALTH
November 03, 2024

James - as always a great read - Done a bit on Legacy and I believe Preuss sums it up best:
‘all planned and unplanned, positive and negative, tangible and intangible created for and by one, that remain longer than the self’ (Preuss, 2007).

Robert G
November 03, 2024

Each life is but a brief flash of light between two eternal walls of darkness,
It is up to each of us to determine how bright that light shines.

Rod in Oz
November 03, 2024

Wonderful James; there is a bigger picture out there...
...and many inspiring sages to help like Advaita from the East and Plato from the West, not to mention J.C.

John
November 02, 2024

Regrets are just that. Why torture yourself over things you can't change.
"if only...." is a waste of time pursuing.
Get out "Poor Charlie's" moral compass and live the life you have left with that in mind.

Dudley
November 02, 2024

"Why torture yourself over things you can't change.": To learn what to avoid repeating.

Jamie Murray
November 01, 2024

Since following the way of Jesus I've found freedom. You are asking the right questions James. Thanks

Greg P
November 01, 2024

Thank you James.
Your wisdom inspires me.

James Gruber
November 01, 2024

Greg,

Very generous - thanks for reading.

Best,
James

Peter Crawford
October 31, 2024

I myself continually asked the same question.
I blindly stumbled across Allan Kardec.
The good Professor might be helpful in answering the life’s purpose for many of those readers - like myself- who have solely focussed on material and investment successes for too many years.
There is a bigger picture out there…



Dudley
October 31, 2024

"What will be your legacy?":

How to fish plus enough fish as encouragement but not enough to never fish.

James Gruber
November 01, 2024

Dudley,

You make me think and chuckle at the same time.

James

Justin Hockley
November 04, 2024

The Gumpism....

Life is like a box of chocolates....

Just remember, there are no do overs, there is no warranty,

Jon Glass
October 31, 2024

Well said James and very timely. You are clearly constructing your legacy in the here and now.

PaulB
November 01, 2024

Here, here - great thought provoking article James. It's refreshing to read your insights on a weekly basis.

James Gruber
November 01, 2024

Thank you Jon and Paul, very kind.

James

Rob
October 31, 2024

"Learn as if you will live forever, live as if you will die tomorrow" on a headstone in East Hendred near Oxford. Read it years ago and thought, that bloke nailed it! Going to add on my own ".....one day you will be correct"

James Gruber
November 01, 2024

Hi Rob,

Like it.

Best,
James

 

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