Register For Our Mailing List

Register to receive our free weekly newsletter including editorials.

Home / 353

COVID-19: 'In the midst of death we are in life'

This virus has changed most of us already. We felt - not just thought or intellectually understood - we would die and that vulnerable people near us would die and that this could happen soon. For many people, mainly the older, it will happen this year.

Yet, apart from buying more than we needed in the supermarket, we did not act as if it might really happen. I have not heard any stories of people quitting their jobs or relationships and before restrictions on travel, flying to family or old lovers around the world. The things we said we would do if it was the end of the world remain on lists.

Have we missed a trick?

Instead, we worried about losing our jobs and spent time making sure our kids were sticking to the home-schooling timetable so that they could find decent jobs in years to come. We sent the message that it was business as usual, probably to remain calm and, as a civic gesture, to encourage others to stay calm too. We have stayed at home like good citizens.

But have we missed a trick here? Are we slaves to this civic-mindedness or, worse, the economy? If we thought this was the end of the world, for a lot of us, Oasis’ Champagne Supernova, where were we when they were getting high? Washing our hands or wringing them?

Our self-absorption in Australia is fairly high. Living forever because of the weather and natural beauty of the place could be tempting. Long-haul flights to the rest of the world mean our holidays need to be longer anyway. Because we have so much, the thought of losing it hurts. Man is naturally neurotic, mainly because, alone among creatures, we are aware that we are going to die. But if we do not respect this fundamental truth, we make ourselves sick.

Becker wrote in The Denial of Death, "there is just no way for the living creature to avoid life and death, and it is probably poetic justice that if he tries too hard to do so he destroys himself".

Making the most of the trip

I work as a lawyer with families. We plan for the worst but hope for the best on a daily basis. My happiest clients are those who dodged a bullet by either divorcing someone they did not want to be with or surviving a near-death experience. If we survive, and most of us will, COVID-19 gives us all the opportunity to be this happy.

I am facing up to my death. I don't expect to get a prize for this but I hope to avoid the folly of enjoying the trip for the wrong reasons. Not only should we be able to talk about death but to do so helps others and shows empathy, wit and, relative to those who dare not mention it, bravery.

The authority on this, Dr Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in On Death and Dying, found that, "the more we are making advancements in science, the more we seem to fear and deny the reality of death." By trying to ignore it we are missing out on a unifying social truth. Misery loves company but death insists on it. Like the disgraced HIH businessman Ray Williams, who used to book a second business class seat for his briefcase, death does not travel alone.

The artist Damien Hirst has a very expensive sculpture called The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living. The Australian comedian Sam Simmons put it more economically when he told an audience that he did not want to die but would not mind being dead for a while. If we are hibernating now, we should come out rested and with better energy.

I am lucky I am Irish. Death is a national obsession so we can digest and process this more easily. For my generation, it is all Yeats’ fault. In a poem we were made to learn off by heart in primary school, Yeats cried, "Consume my heart away, sick with desire And fastened to a dying animal”. I have collected some of these quotes on life and death by Irish writers who are our philosophers. Irish political heroes were martyrs and we learned graveyard orations in school. We are not ones for bucket lists. We know there is a hole in the bucket.

But didn’t we all learn about it at school when we grew watercress (or whatever lucky plant you were encouraged to grow) and learned about photosynthesis and neglect? No one told us about the dying process but nature taught us, sometimes only a day or two later.

Saul Bellow said “death is the dark backing a mirror needs if we are to see anything”. The bitter truth is that you and me and everyone we know is going to die and the sooner we face up to that the better. I might say, “I know I am going to die” but do I really accept it? For those of us locked into thinking like an economy not a society, supply and demand rules mean life is even more precious, right?

The lucky among us, who survive COVID-19, can take it as a near-death experience and lead lives more focussed on what we, not the government, think is important. This is our opportunity and now is the time to grasp it before complacency creeps back in.

What kind of a life do you really want to lead?

By your actions, what do you want to tell others that you chose to do from all of your options?

There are already wonderful examples of people helping others, expressing thanks to those on the frontline. The best of people comes undemanded by the government. We do not have to be told. Why shouldn’t we continue this long after this pandemic? It took many deaths for us to live the lives we want. We see that we are all in this together. We should wash our hands because we think it is the right thing to do, not because we are told to and it is a part of an economic plan.

Mourning his father, James Joyce said, "Life is so tragic — birth, death, departure, sickness, death — that we are permitted to distract ourselves and forget a little". A little distraction is a good thing but we need to see the big picture.

At my work, I tell people the legal facts about a death in a family, listen to their hopes and help them to leave the legacy they want. I prepare, if I do say so, beautiful legalistic documents but the most important thing my clients should do, I tell them, is to write a practical and philosophical ‘user’s manual’ for their young children and a love letter to their older family and friends. This will help them to live forever. It took an embarrassingly long time for me to realise that I should do the same.

In the book that gave me the idea for the title of my own book[1], The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche points out two certainties; “It is absolutely certain that we will die, and it is uncertain when or how we will die”.

But, as Cormac McCarthy, himself influenced by Yeats and no stranger to an Irish background, said “just because one is a pessimist doesn’t mean one has to be miserable about it”. For now, we are still here!

 

Donal Griffin is the Principal of Legacy Law, a Sydney-based legal firm specialising in protecting family assets. The firm is not licensed to give financial advice. 

[1] This essay was drawn from a book the writer is finishing called The Irish Book of Living and Dying, Volume 1. The title of this article is said by Leopold Bloom, the fictional protagonist and hero in James Joyce’s Ulysses.

 

7 Comments
Duncan Loasby
May 14, 2020

Wise, erudite and insightful as usual Donal. Amazing work.

Emma
April 20, 2020

Beautiful article, thank you Donal.

Martin Mulcare
April 15, 2020

Thanks, Donal,
Here are links to two organisations that are striving to provide improved language and literacy about death in a society where apparently no-one dies anymore, they just "pass":
https://www.thegroundswellproject.com/
https://www.lifecircle.org.au/

Greg Page
April 15, 2020

My goodness. What a wonderful article Donal.
It especially resonates, because I too have tried to live life purposefully and at times have wondered if I should instead use the “flip a coin” approach.

And thanks for the answers Manual and Love Letters. These will not be easy to write, but write them I shall.

Thank you!

Donal Griffin
April 20, 2020

Thank you Greg. Feel free to email if you would like any guidance on what others do (respecting their confidentiality).

Ramani
April 15, 2020

In addition to tweaking the system, I desperately hope that COVID-19 might induce a fundamental rethink about our fixation with material possessions.
Everyone needs accommodation, food, relationships and good health, but all these are extend-able and contract-able. Boom times (and living like the mythical Joneses) induce splurging often without stress -testing (what if my borrowing rates go up, job is lost, a family disaster strikes, accidents happen - how would I cope, and what would I cut?)
By emphasising living within means we can increase our ability to navigate crises. Resilience!

Donal Griffin
April 20, 2020

Thank you Ramani.

 

Leave a Comment:

banner

Most viewed in recent weeks

Raising the GST to 15%

Treasurer Jim Chalmers aims to tackle tax reform but faces challenges. Previous reviews struggled due to political sensitivities, highlighting the need for comprehensive and politically feasible change.

7 examples of how the new super tax will be calculated

You've no doubt heard about Division 296. These case studies show what people at various levels above the $3 million threshold might need to pay the ATO, with examples ranging from under $500 to more than $35,000.

The revolt against Baby Boomer wealth

The $3m super tax could be put down to the Government needing money and the wealthy being easy targets. It’s deeper than that though and this looks at the factors behind the policy and why more taxes on the wealthy are coming.

Are franking credits hurting Australia’s economy?

Business investment and per capita GDP have languished over the past decade and the Labor Government is conducting inquiries to find out why. Franking credits should be part of the debate about our stalling economy.

Here's what should replace the $3 million super tax

With Div. 296 looming, is there a smarter way to tax superannuation? This proposes a fairer, income-linked alternative that respects compounding, ensures predictability, and avoids taxing unrealised capital gains. 

The rubbery numbers behind super tax concessions

In selling the super tax, Labor has repeated Treasury claims of there being $50 billion in super tax concessions annually, mostly flowing to high-income earners. This figure is vastly overstated.

Latest Updates

Investment strategies

Trump's US dollar assault is fuelling CBA's rise

Australian-based investors have been perplexed by the steep rise in CBA's share price But it's becoming clear that US funds are buying into our largest bank as a hedge against potential QE and further falls in the US dollar.

Investment strategies

With markets near record highs, here's what you should do with your portfolio

Markets have weathered geopolitical turmoil, hitting near record highs. Investors face tough decisions on valuations, asset concentration, and strategic portfolio rebalancing for risk control and future returns.

Property

Soaring house prices may be locking people into marriages

Soaring house prices are deepening Australia's cost of living crisis - and possibly distorting marriage decisions. New research links unexpected price changes to whether couples separate or silently struggle together.

Investment strategies

Google is facing 'the innovator's dilemma'

Artificial intelligence is forcing Google to rethink search - and its future. As usage shifts and rivals close in, will it adapt in time, or become a cautionary tale of disrupted disruptors?

Investment strategies

Study supports what many suspected about passive investing

The surge in passive investing doesn’t just mirror the market—it shapes it, often amplifying the rise of the largest firms and creating new risks and opportunities. For investors, understanding these effects is essential.

Property

Should we dump stamp duties for land taxes?

Economists have long flagged the idea of swapping property taxes for land taxes for fairness and equity reasons. This looks at why what seems fairer may not deliver the outcomes that we expect.

Investing

Being human means being a bad investor

Many of the behaviours that have made humans such a successful species also make it difficult for us to be good, long-term investors. The key to better decision making is to understand what makes us human and adapt.

Sponsors

Alliances

© 2025 Morningstar, Inc. All rights reserved.

Disclaimer
The data, research and opinions provided here are for information purposes; are not an offer to buy or sell a security; and are not warranted to be correct, complete or accurate. Morningstar, its affiliates, and third-party content providers are not responsible for any investment decisions, damages or losses resulting from, or related to, the data and analyses or their use. To the extent any content is general advice, it has been prepared for clients of Morningstar Australasia Pty Ltd (ABN: 95 090 665 544, AFSL: 240892), without reference to your financial objectives, situation or needs. For more information refer to our Financial Services Guide. You should consider the advice in light of these matters and if applicable, the relevant Product Disclosure Statement before making any decision to invest. Past performance does not necessarily indicate a financial product’s future performance. To obtain advice tailored to your situation, contact a professional financial adviser. Articles are current as at date of publication.
This website contains information and opinions provided by third parties. Inclusion of this information does not necessarily represent Morningstar’s positions, strategies or opinions and should not be considered an endorsement by Morningstar.