Register For Our Mailing List

Register to receive our free weekly newsletter including editorials.

Home / 274

Don’t allow a BoMaD to ruin your retirement

This article is the third in a series written for Cuffelinks by leading retirement website YourLifeChoices. It reports on the financial impact on parents who are assisting adult children with loans to buy property or are allowing them to live rent-free at home.

What is a BoMaD and why should you care?

The BoMaD – or Bank of Mum and Dad – is the fifth largest lending institution in Australia, ahead of ING, Suncorp and Bendigo Bank. It is estimated to be lending $65 billion per annum, according to a Mozo survey in September 2017. That’s right, $65 billion a year is being transferred from the pockets of Australian mums and dads to their adult children to assist them in buying a house.

Children staying at home is more difficult to measure

While children are no doubt lovable, they can also be very expensive, particularly when it comes to reducing your retirement income. It’s not just in the headline fact of parents lending grown-up children money to buy property. There is a quieter, more insidious erosion of retirement savings and income, and that occurs when adult children live at home for extended periods without contributing to household expenses. This is a less spectacular, difficult-to-measure version of the BoMaD. And it’s not a loan, but a gift!

YourLifeChoices runs frequent in-depth surveys on all things to do with retirement. In the recent 2018 Retirement Matters survey, we asked our 230,000 55–75-year-old members whether assisting younger family members was eroding their retirement savings.

Here is what we learnt:

  • 17% of respondents still have adult children living at home
  • Of these, only 58% are receiving contributions to the household expenses
  • Of those respondents with adult children at home, 32% believe their retirement income is reduced by this arrangement
  • The median amount respondents projected they were losing per annum was $10,000, within a range of $5000 to $50,000.

So, what does this mean for you and your retirement? This is tricky emotional territory.

As reported above, most parents are relaxed about long-term cohabitation with their adult kids. The extended family is a traditional source of strength, support, love and fun. There’s a lot to like about this way of living, and it really is the very basis of community.

But financially, it can be an extremely lopsided arrangement. The great ‘risk shift’ of retirement income, as identified by American academic Jacob Hacker in 2006, suggests that we are all basically on our own when it comes to creating a retirement nest egg and managing it successfully.

Consider the money foregone

What is often overlooked is money foregone, and this is where a BoMaD can kill your future prospects. Retirement is fast becoming a user-pays system, exacerbated by the increasing need for personal income to cover both health and aged care.

So, what can you do if you love having your adult children living at home, but fear this is having a negative impact on your finances?

You could start by recognising that family comes first, and if you are happy to have them at home, then that is where they belong. But make sure everyone is paying their way.

Think back to your early days of share houses and flatmates. There are mutual costs which include:

  • mortgage repayments
  • energy bills
  • communication: internet, movie streaming, subscriptions, etc
  • maintenance
  • cleaning
  • gardening
  • insurances
  • food and groceries.

When you stop and itemise the expenses, you realise that it costs a lot to run a home, even one which is fully owned. So create a spreadsheet with all household expenses listed, total it and divide it equally by all adults aged 21 and over. Set up a new bank account to be managed by the home owner, or whoever’s name is on the lease if you are renting.

Request all ‘guests’ organise an automatic payment from their own bank account into the household expenses account, equalling their share of these expenses, on the first of the month, every month.

When sufficient money is collected, organise for automatic payments of all household bills on their due date, and a payment covering ‘general monies’ (i.e., money for consumables, such as food and other supermarket items) to be made monthly into the homeowner’s account to cover these extra, often unnoticed, expenses.

This will hopefully remove potential arguments and ensure that a fair share of the expenses is paid by all, as painlessly as possible.

It may sound like an overly formal system, but rent-free kids eating you out of house and home is hardly the answer, either. Yes, you love them dearly, but you also have to plan for your next 20 or 30 years of paying bills, perhaps when your health is far less robust than theirs.

YourLifeChoices’ June Retirement Affordability IndexTM reports that it costs a couple on a full or part age pension, living in their own home, about $42,830 per annum to cover all expenses. If these costs are higher because you are accommodating your grown-up kids, it’s up to you to ensure you are not digging into your savings to support them forever.

At the very least, it is worth thinking about.

 

Kaye Fallick is publisher of YourLifeChoices, Australia’s leading retirement website for over-55s. It delivers independent information and resources to 250,000 members across Australia.

 

  •   4 October 2018
  • 2
  •      
  •   

RELATED ARTICLES

Retirement and Antarctica: start early in setting your goals

What I know now about retirement income

Australians’ unrealistic retirement expectations

banner

Most viewed in recent weeks

Does your will qualify for the discretionary testamentary trust exemption?

Treasury has confirmed the exemption many families were hoping for. But buried in the fine print are two conditions that could leave some wills on the wrong side of the exemption, despite years of careful planning.

Ranking three common retirement strategies

The defining challenge of retirement isn't just about building wealth, it's about converting your lifetime savings into sustainable income. A holistic understanding of different strategies can improve long-term outcomes.

Are you making these SMSF mistakes?

After four decades advising investors, there are a few common mistakes I've seen SMSF investors make. From holding too much cash and chasing yield to overtrading and trusting tips. Are these errors costing you?

Australia has saved $4.5 trillion for retirement. Here's what matters more

Most Australians approaching retirement can tell you the exact dollar value of their super account. But success depends on more than a sizeable balance. Here's four key questions to ask yourself at the start of the financial year. 

Lithium's latest drop and what it means for ASX investors

Lithium's latest sell-off has punished ASX miners as prices remain hostage to shifting expectations. The key challenge is navigating a market prone to extreme volatility despite a strong case for the long-term demand outlook.

Retirement spending is not one-size-fits-all

New data challenges the idea that Australians are underspending their super. The bigger issue may be helping retirees navigate complexity, make confident decisions and use their savings to support security, wellbeing and choice.

Latest Updates

Retirement

Will you run out of money in retirement?

Fear of running out has become a defining retirement anxiety. Why do some retirees die with substantial wealth while others deplete their nest egg? Evidence suggests the answer is more complicated than we think. 

Investing

The investment that sidesteps the new tax traps

Tax rules have changed, but many investors are still using yesterday’s strategies. Insurance bonds may offer advantages for those seeking greater control, tax efficiency and certainty about their wealth.

Shares

The role of shareholder yield in a portfolio

Investors may be overlooking a timeless source of returns in a volatile market. The companies that consistently generate and return cash to shareholders have often proved remarkably resilient through uncertainty.

Shares

Australian inflation still well above the RBA's target

The RBA has spent more than three decades pursuing its 2%-3% inflation target. But the numbers tell a far more complicated story than the headlines. The results may surprise both its strongest critics and most loyal defenders.

Retirement

Retirement in reality - 5 months in

Retirement planning doesn't end when work does. Five months in, Joanne reflects on retiring at a different time to your spouse, coping with setbacks and the importance of rest. Some lessons only become clear after the fact.

Latest from Morningstar

What 6 key market indicators are telling investors right now

Are markets still expensive? There are the seven key indicators every investor needs to know. From gold and equities to bonds, oil, bitcoin and the US dollar. The data reveals where opportunities and risks may lie for investors today.

Investing

Can you ride the AI bubble without overpaying?

AI may prove as transformative as the internet, but markets are behaving as if success is guaranteed. As capital races towards unprecedented levels, investors should ask whether enthusiasm is getting ahead of reality.

Sponsors

Alliances

  • ASA-Logo-RGB-ActiveGreen-web.png

© 2026 Morningstar, Inc. All rights reserved.

Disclaimer
The data, research and opinions provided here are for information purposes; are not an offer to buy or sell a security; and are not warranted to be correct, complete or accurate. Morningstar, its affiliates, and third-party content providers are not responsible for any investment decisions, damages or losses resulting from, or related to, the data and analyses or their use. To the extent any content is general advice, it has been prepared for clients of Morningstar Australasia Pty Ltd (ABN: 95 090 665 544, AFSL: 240892), without reference to your financial objectives, situation or needs. For more information refer to our Financial Services Guide. You should consider the advice in light of these matters and if applicable, the relevant Product Disclosure Statement before making any decision to invest. Past performance does not necessarily indicate a financial product’s future performance. To obtain advice tailored to your situation, contact a professional financial adviser. Articles are current as at date of publication.
This website contains information and opinions provided by third parties. Inclusion of this information does not necessarily represent Morningstar’s positions, strategies or opinions and should not be considered an endorsement by Morningstar.