Register For Our Mailing List

Register to receive our free weekly newsletter including editorials.

Home / 274

Don’t allow a BoMaD to ruin your retirement

This article is the third in a series written for Cuffelinks by leading retirement website YourLifeChoices. It reports on the financial impact on parents who are assisting adult children with loans to buy property or are allowing them to live rent-free at home.

What is a BoMaD and why should you care?

The BoMaD – or Bank of Mum and Dad – is the fifth largest lending institution in Australia, ahead of ING, Suncorp and Bendigo Bank. It is estimated to be lending $65 billion per annum, according to a Mozo survey in September 2017. That’s right, $65 billion a year is being transferred from the pockets of Australian mums and dads to their adult children to assist them in buying a house.

Children staying at home is more difficult to measure

While children are no doubt lovable, they can also be very expensive, particularly when it comes to reducing your retirement income. It’s not just in the headline fact of parents lending grown-up children money to buy property. There is a quieter, more insidious erosion of retirement savings and income, and that occurs when adult children live at home for extended periods without contributing to household expenses. This is a less spectacular, difficult-to-measure version of the BoMaD. And it’s not a loan, but a gift!

YourLifeChoices runs frequent in-depth surveys on all things to do with retirement. In the recent 2018 Retirement Matters survey, we asked our 230,000 55–75-year-old members whether assisting younger family members was eroding their retirement savings.

Here is what we learnt:

  • 17% of respondents still have adult children living at home
  • Of these, only 58% are receiving contributions to the household expenses
  • Of those respondents with adult children at home, 32% believe their retirement income is reduced by this arrangement
  • The median amount respondents projected they were losing per annum was $10,000, within a range of $5000 to $50,000.

So, what does this mean for you and your retirement? This is tricky emotional territory.

As reported above, most parents are relaxed about long-term cohabitation with their adult kids. The extended family is a traditional source of strength, support, love and fun. There’s a lot to like about this way of living, and it really is the very basis of community.

But financially, it can be an extremely lopsided arrangement. The great ‘risk shift’ of retirement income, as identified by American academic Jacob Hacker in 2006, suggests that we are all basically on our own when it comes to creating a retirement nest egg and managing it successfully.

Consider the money foregone

What is often overlooked is money foregone, and this is where a BoMaD can kill your future prospects. Retirement is fast becoming a user-pays system, exacerbated by the increasing need for personal income to cover both health and aged care.

So, what can you do if you love having your adult children living at home, but fear this is having a negative impact on your finances?

You could start by recognising that family comes first, and if you are happy to have them at home, then that is where they belong. But make sure everyone is paying their way.

Think back to your early days of share houses and flatmates. There are mutual costs which include:

  • mortgage repayments
  • energy bills
  • communication: internet, movie streaming, subscriptions, etc
  • maintenance
  • cleaning
  • gardening
  • insurances
  • food and groceries.

When you stop and itemise the expenses, you realise that it costs a lot to run a home, even one which is fully owned. So create a spreadsheet with all household expenses listed, total it and divide it equally by all adults aged 21 and over. Set up a new bank account to be managed by the home owner, or whoever’s name is on the lease if you are renting.

Request all ‘guests’ organise an automatic payment from their own bank account into the household expenses account, equalling their share of these expenses, on the first of the month, every month.

When sufficient money is collected, organise for automatic payments of all household bills on their due date, and a payment covering ‘general monies’ (i.e., money for consumables, such as food and other supermarket items) to be made monthly into the homeowner’s account to cover these extra, often unnoticed, expenses.

This will hopefully remove potential arguments and ensure that a fair share of the expenses is paid by all, as painlessly as possible.

It may sound like an overly formal system, but rent-free kids eating you out of house and home is hardly the answer, either. Yes, you love them dearly, but you also have to plan for your next 20 or 30 years of paying bills, perhaps when your health is far less robust than theirs.

YourLifeChoices’ June Retirement Affordability IndexTM reports that it costs a couple on a full or part age pension, living in their own home, about $42,830 per annum to cover all expenses. If these costs are higher because you are accommodating your grown-up kids, it’s up to you to ensure you are not digging into your savings to support them forever.

At the very least, it is worth thinking about.

 

Kaye Fallick is publisher of YourLifeChoices, Australia’s leading retirement website for over-55s. It delivers independent information and resources to 250,000 members across Australia.

 

  •   4 October 2018
  • 2
  •      
  •   

RELATED ARTICLES

Retirement and Antarctica: start early in setting your goals

What I know now about retirement income

Australians’ unrealistic retirement expectations

banner

Most viewed in recent weeks

Why spending more in early retirement can improve lifetime income

Conventional wisdom encourages retirees to preserve superannuation. But if those likely to qualify for the Age Pension later in life spend a little more today, it may deliver higher lifetime income and a more stable retirement.

Testamentary trusts have secured the CGT exemption

Treasury’s latest CGT reform draft delivers a win for testamentary trusts and deceased estates, exempting estate-derived gains from the 30% floor. However, questions on death and divorce rollovers remain unresolved.

Meg on SMSFs: What do we think about reversionary pensions these days?

Reversionary pensions have long been a staple of SMSF estate planning, but are they still the best option? Meg Heffron revisits a once-clear favourite and asks whether changing super rules have shifted the balance.

Is it time to bail on Australian stocks?

For generations, Australian investors have backed banks, miners and dividends. But has that loyalty come at a cost? A look at the numbers raises an uncomfortable question about where future returns will come from.

How does the 4% rule stack up?

The 4% rule has long been retirement's gold standard. But after a difficult period for investors, fresh analysis suggests a more conservative approach may significantly improve the chances of making savings last.

Testamentary trusts survived the trust tax. The drafting battle has just begun.

The fight over testamentary trusts looked settled. Then the draft legislation arrived. Hidden in a technical detail is a question that could force many families to rethink wills they thought were already future-proof.

Latest Updates

Planning

How the typical Australian Family could save $844,350 in taxes

The value of a testamentary trust is not determined by wealth alone. Depending on circumstances, it can reduce the tax burden on inherited income, create efficiencies and help build intergenerational wealth.

Superannuation

There's a reason why your super is locked up until your 60s

For decades, it seemed settled. Then one controversial idea reignited a debate that could reshape the financial future of millions. The real question isn’t who’s right or wrong, but whether a long-held assumption deserves another look.

Property

The housing slide could become a crash

House prices are sliding across Australia, yet the most dangerous ingredient for a housing crash is still missing. If job losses surge amid growing economic risks, today's correction could become a historic property downturn.

Retirement

Under-retiring: The greatest retirement risk in a generation

Two retirees. Similar savings. Completely different lives. New research from Challenger reveals why some Australians confidently spend in retirement while others hold back and the overlooked factor shaping retirement decisions.

Five risks to watch in markets

Things you may often hear are: a recession is around the corner, markets are overpriced, the AI sector is about to flop at any moment. It’s like the never-ending laundry pile that sits in my house, it never really disappears.

Investment strategies

Do you qualify as ‘rich’?

What does it mean to be 'rich'? For something so universally desired, it is surprisingly difficult to define. That ambiguity creates a challenge for investors and raises a bigger question about what financial success really looks like.

Investment strategies

If you’re worried about your bond portfolio, you’re missing the point

Most investors think they know what bonds are for. But when markets turn volatile, a surprising misunderstanding can lead to costly decisions. Here’s the overlooked lesson that could change how you view your portfolio.

Alliances

  • ASA-Logo-RGB-ActiveGreen-web.png

© 2026 Morningstar, Inc. All rights reserved.

Disclaimer
The data, research and opinions provided here are for information purposes; are not an offer to buy or sell a security; and are not warranted to be correct, complete or accurate. Morningstar, its affiliates, and third-party content providers are not responsible for any investment decisions, damages or losses resulting from, or related to, the data and analyses or their use. To the extent any content is general advice, it has been prepared for clients of Morningstar Australasia Pty Ltd (ABN: 95 090 665 544, AFSL: 240892), without reference to your financial objectives, situation or needs. For more information refer to our Financial Services Guide. You should consider the advice in light of these matters and if applicable, the relevant Product Disclosure Statement before making any decision to invest. Past performance does not necessarily indicate a financial product’s future performance. To obtain advice tailored to your situation, contact a professional financial adviser. Articles are current as at date of publication.
This website contains information and opinions provided by third parties. Inclusion of this information does not necessarily represent Morningstar’s positions, strategies or opinions and should not be considered an endorsement by Morningstar.